Tuesday, June 13, 2023

Cold Love

 


     “Only ten percent of you sitting here will still be walking with Jesus, 10 years from now.”

     As a believer of only four months, this statement from the speaker rattled me. Internally, I confidently reassured myself that I would be in that small percentage and no doubt, every other person there was thinking the same thing… ”not me Lord, I will never forsake You!” I imagine too, that each person took a quick internal inventory of their commitment to Messiah. And while I have no way of knowing who in that room continued with our Lord, I do know this much…the person sitting next to me strongly renounced Jesus just two years later.    

     Recalling this event in my early Christian life (1982) led me to a bit of researching. In it, I was able to corroborate the claims of that speaker so long ago. In the book Faith for Exiles, authors Kinnaman and Matlock described those faithful ten percenters as “resilient disciples,” or rather, those who continue their commitment to Jesus ten years after their initial conversion. “From a numbers point of view,” Kinnaman says, “10 percent of young Christians amounts to just under four million 18–29-year-olds in the U.S. who follow Jesus and are resiliently faithful.”

     The writers define a resilient disciple as “those who have made a commitment to Jesus, who they believe was crucified and raised to conquer sin and death; are involved in a faith community beyond attendance at worship services; and strongly affirm that the Bible is inspired by God and contains truth about the world. Resilient disciples highly prioritize their life of faith inside and outside their place of worship.” (The research was conducted by Barna, a private, non-partisan group devoted to analyzing research that examines cultural trends related to values, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors.)

     I’ve found some solace in identifying myself as a ten-percenter (or resilient disciple) and yet, I take very seriously the words of Yeshua in Matthew 24 as He describes the signs of His return: “9Then they will hand you over to tribulation and kill you, and you will be hated by all nations because of My name. 10 And at that time many will fall away, and they will betray one another and hate one another. 11 And many false prophets will rise up and mislead many people. 12 And because lawlessness is increased, most people’s love will become cold.” (NASB)

     Several translations in verse 12 use the word “many” rather than “most.” Either way, the thought is sobering, in much the same way I was shaken by that teaching in 1982. Adonai also attributes this “cold love” to be a result of lawlessness and it’s increase. In a practical sense, we certainly can acknowledge the ambush of Christians in the media, the increasing numbers of Americans who identify as “none” when asked to describe their faith affiliation, and the frequent vilifying of believers by the general public (due largely to people groups identifying as God’s spokespeople who are really “wolves in sheep’s clothing.”)

    My view on “lawlessness” is this…lawlessness is a reference to the denial of Yeshua as God Messiah rather than the “fruit” of that lawlessness. Recall that when Yeshua asked who His disciples thought He was, Kefa (Peter) responded, “Attah Mashiach El,” which means, “You are God Messiah.” In short, those relying on the mercy of God through Yeshua are not lawless; those denying that mercy through Yeshua are lawless, regardless of their fruits. (I recognize that is not the view of all!)

     In light of Yeshua’s proclamation that lawlessness will lead to many or most growing cold toward Him, we must recognize how appealing and drawing are the promises of the world, as well as the fact that we “resilient disciples” are not only a minority, but increasingly so! As our numbers dwindle (in the same way that many fell away from following Messiah when they realized He was there as the Suffering Servant rather than The Conquering King), we do not rely on the world’s offerings, any more than we rely on the strength of our numbers or the vitality of “our church.” In relying SOLELY on the mercy of Hashem, we are automatically relying on His impassioned love and care for us and are not given over to the lies that assume His disinterest or displeasure in us individually. Those ideas are gateways to falling away/growing cold!

     We must sharpen our senses and awareness of the devices designed to woo us away, all the while learning to cultivate our relationship with Abba. I agree with writer John Parsons on his website, Hebrew for Christians, when he says, “God redeemed you so you could know and love Him.” He goes on to say that it can become easy to “forget” how much we mean to Him as individuals, leading then to a distorted view of God and ourselves as His kids.

     This week’s “Torah Portion” in the Jewish world is Parashah Shelech-Lekha, found in Numbers 13-15. This section of scripture is a recounting of the “Sin of the Spies.” When we forget how important and precious we are as individuals to our Abba, we can unwittingly repeat the sin of the spies who reported that, “we were in our eyes like grasshoppers.” As Parsons eloquently puts it, “Their view of themselves was more real than God’s view of them.”

     Said another way, we can fool ourselves into thinking that our belittling self-talk is evidence of humility and holiness, when in fact it is evidence of pride and self-reliance. Let us not forget our calling as image-bearers of Hashem, those of whom He dotes on and delights in. Isn’t it ironic that many of us are still afraid to be seen by Him, even though He knows us definitively more than we ever could!

     An earmark of being a resilient disciple is seeing ourselves worthy of the inheritance Yeshua procured. Being poor in spirit is not self-deprecation, but rather the joyful understanding that the mercy of God through Yeshua is our ONLY hope and that striving to please Him is folly. On the other hand, we can either cultivate knowing and relating to Him or cultivate the same with distractions of the world. In my still immature state of being, I confess that it is easier for me to dine on the world’s junk food than rest in Yeshua and enjoy the inheritance He’s given.

     When I choose the latter, however, I find courage rather than cowardice. I become Caleb rather than a “grasshopper spy.” My love is activated from cold, or worse, lukewarm, to finding complete comfort in His love. And in those moments I am filled with the relief that “doing for Him” in order to find His acceptance is worthless and unnecessary.

     Charles Spurgeon once said, “Has there not been, sometimes, this temptation to do a great deal for Christ, but not to live a great deal with Christ?”

     You are a resilient disciple. Your love will never grow cold, since it is Messiah’s love that brings you to love Him. Peace and joy, however, can be cultivated by our rest in Him. Increasing knowledge of Him comes with that rest, further enhancing our desire to be with Him. May the God of our inheritance convince us of His unchanging and unconditional care and knowledge, and thereby dispel the claims of the world on us. Find joy friends in being a ten-percenter!

Thursday, May 25, 2023

 

How Small is Our World; How Big is Our God

  

I travelled to the East Coast last week to visit family and had a layover in the Newark/New York airport. As a result of my 20 years in the Air Force, I am no stranger to various cultures and large concentrations of people, and yet there is still a kind of culture shock for a fella that lives in a small rural Ohio community reexperiencing life in the big city. Mingling with throngs of people of different languages and ethnicities can bring a sense of smallness, or at least reawaken one’s perspective.

   In our individual experiences, we can lose sight of the vastness, as well as the intricacies of our Creator. So just when I was feeling that ‘smallness’ in that airport, the Lord of the Universe orchestrated a personal touch for me, and I was soon engaging in a ‘God appointment!’

   Sitting at a counter waiting for my flight, a man sat down beside me and began speaking Hebrew on his phone! (I’ve been learning Hebrew for the last two years through an online program.) When he ended the call I inquired, “Attah medaber Evrit? (Do you speak Hebrew?) He responded with “Ken” (Yes) and I immediately panicked and forgot everything else I had learned from the previous two years! I’d never spoken the language with a native speaker…however, his ‘Angleet’ (English) was excellent, and we had a wonderful conversation. He asked me what my motivation was for learning Hebrew, and I was able to share with him my love for Israel because of my love for Yeshua. Being a Reformed Jew, he was not offended by my Messianic Gentile status. The point of this of course, is that God remembered me as I was feeling invisible.

     How small is our world, how big is our God? On one hand, Adonai’s vastness is such…He is:

  • supreme over all creation…
  • all has been created through Him and for Him…
  • He existed before all things…
  • He holds everything together…
  • He holds first place in everything…
  • by His word He made the heavens…
  • He commanded, and there it stood…
  • He watches everyone on earth…
  • He understands the hearts of all…
  • the universe was birthed through His Word…
  • He stretched out the earth…
  • He gives breath and spirit to all people…

   By His breath He made the whole host of heaven…

   Let’s take some perspective, beginning with the vastness of His creation? For instance, the sun is 93 million miles away from earth and is so large that 960,000 earths could fit inside it. And that’s just one star in the galaxy that Creator God made for us!

   How about Betelgeuse? No, not the movie. It’s a star. It’s 427 light years away, about 5.88 trillion miles.  Well, you could fit 262 trillion earths inside Betelgeuse!

   But that’s not even the biggest star.  The largest known star is Canis Majoris. It’s so big that you could fit seven quadrillion earths in it! Do you know what a quadrillion is? Think of it this way:  

1 million seconds ago – 11.5 days ago
1 billion seconds ago – 32 years ago
1 trillion seconds ago – 31,688 years ago
1 quadrillion seconds ago –31,709,792 years ago

Yeah, seven of that number. And these are just the stars that our beautiful God has created… immersed in one galaxy…of an estimated one trillion galaxies in the known universe!

   Here’s how big our God is.  A light year is travelling at the speed of light…186,000 miles a second. If you travel at the speed of 186,000 miles, not per hour, but per second, you are travelling at the speed of light.  But if you travel at that speed for an entire year, you have traveled one light year.  Do you know how far you would have to travel to go from one edge of our galaxy to the other? You would have to travel 186,000 miles per second for 100,000 years.

   You would pass the earth in a tiny fraction of the first second and never see it…and then travel an additional 100,000 years! So, consider, there are an estimated one trillion galaxies in the universe! And we are on this tiny planet, somewhere amidst just one of those galaxies. Hmmm…somehow, getting cut off in traffic doesn’t seem such a big deal!

   God said, “I’ve set my glory above the heavens.”

   Dear friends, how small is our world, how big is our God?

   Because on the other hand, there’s God’s detail, His intricacies, His minute perfection. We are fearfully and wonderfully made. Our beginning lies in one microscopic cell from our mother, and one from our father. These two cells form one new cell, with a totally new and unique set of DNA which contains three billion characters of code. This one tiny cell contains all the information needed to produce you! The single cell eventually gives way to 75 trillion cells in the human body. Every one of these cells has all three billion bits of our genetic code.

   If I were to read your DNA, reading one character per second, night and day, it would take me 96 years just to read the description of you! Unique from any other human ever…

How small is our world, how big is our God?

   So, our vast and magnificent Creator God, pours Himself out for us and desperately wants good for us.  Our tender God who even pleads with us at times. Let us remember all of who He is!

   So friends, how small are the things we give our time, our mental energy, our youth to…how much credence do we give to the minutiae of our lives and how narrowed is our focus…how small is our world…in our world, we can look around for ourselves, be still and know that He formed us and spoke His perfect creation into existence…we can look up and consider the heavens that He formed from the breath of His mouth…those things He spoke into being, planned from eternity past, and yet He watches over us in every intimate detail…how big is our God?

   Let us see the fullness of who He is!  Never lose sight of His magnificence, His perfection, His power, and in-so-doing honor Him in reverence and great awe!  The One who is, who was, and who is to come…the great “I Am.” To Him and Him alone is all honor and power and glory, forever and ever!

Tuesday, May 16, 2023

 

Devakut – “Clinging”

Running With Yeshua

There is a thrill in marathoning. On this particular day, I was flying down the streets of Foxboro, Mass., exceeding my expectations and proudly receiving encouragement from spectators who noticed my New Hampshire singlet. I was clearly on my way to a personal best and was feeling exuberant at mile 18. By mile 23…I was laying on the ground. Not only had I hit the wall and collapsed, but my exuberance quickly changed to humiliation and self-deprecation. Then, in my mid-twenties, my worth was only as good as my most recent race success.

Things are different now, some 45 years later. My worth isn’t about me anymore.

As I explore this life of grace, moving away from the foolish notion that I can manipulate Adonai’s feelings toward me through my behavior, I see His Word in a whole different light. Simply stated, the goal of our walk with Yeshua is NOT the pursuit of holiness, rather, it IS the pursuit of relationship with Him. With that in mind…some thoughts…

I frequently ask Adonai how to go about having relationship with Him. Of course, on one hand we ARE already in relationship with Him by virtue of Him having placed his Holy Spirit within us. As a result, we have been restored to life and are eternally His. Nonetheless, our BEST life here is realized when we understand and participate in His presence. I now realize that having “ears to hear” and “eyes to see” aren’t really activated without my expectation of Him speaking, revealing Himself to me and acknowledging His desire to BE with me. Perhaps we could call that, Our Garden Relationship.

Interestingly, the Hebrew word, “devakut (דבקות)” means clinging or cleaving to the Lord in communion and surrender to His grace. And in that, I notice a great irony in the phrase “surrender to His grace.” For instance, in war, surrender leads to captivity and degradation. Likewise, surrender to the world leads one to that same condition. God’s surrender however, accomplishes the exact opposite, that is, OUT of captivity to true freedom, and OUT of humiliation and degradation.

Having just celebrated Pesach (Passover), we were encouraged to see ourselves as being personally set free from Egypt. The word Egypt in Hebrew is “mitzraim (מצרים).” That word can sometimes mean “an enclosure” from the verb “tzur” meaning to bind or confine. Conversely, salvation (ישועה), means release from constraint, to deliver or set free. The very purpose of creation is to be set free by God’s redemptive love given through Yeshua. We in Yeshua have been personally redeemed from Egypt (Mitzraim). May our Yeshua, our salvation, cause us to both see and hear Him today as we cling to Him and enjoy the freedom He has given us!

Shalom!
James Mark

 

Noticing

    

Much of my life has been spent in folly, trying to engineer how best to have relationship with God. And in those attempts to define and confine Hashem to my finite understanding of relationship, I am in essence putting myself in charge of the matter. After all, in my vain attempts to formulate some quality of being with Him, I am still relying on myself. (“Am I speaking to Him enough, am I listening enough, am I including Him enough” …on and on it goes).

     I continue to learn about resting in Him and yielding, but honestly, most often I wrestle that away from Him. However, today, in Home Depot, buying cow manure for my garden (lol), Abba showed me a truer way to have communion with Him. By simply…noticing…

     When I come to my senses and realize that I am relying on myself to pursue relationship with God, I let that become my cue to rather let Him come to me. All that is required in that scenario is ‘noticing.’

     So, what was this God-moment today in the garden section of Home Depot? Was it perhaps a magnificent demonstration of His power? Maybe the cloud of His shekinah glory over the annuals, or the healing of a gardener with back problems due to excessive weeding, or maybe multiplied bags of fertilizer?

     Naw…a baby smiled at me.

     As I headed toward the checkout line with my fertilizer, I noticed a man carrying his little boy, perhaps 10 months of age. As the man was walking, the baby was looking back at me. We locked eyes and I smiled. The little guy’s response nearly brought me to my knees. He smiled a huge, toothy grin and I was suddenly flooded with emotion. Now to the little boy, I probably just reminded him of his grandpa. But the Lover of my Soul was behind that smile. In that moment, I saw the Lord smiling at me. I cannot describe how I knew I was in Abba’s Presence; I wasn’t looking for it. But there was no question in my heart that our Creator Himself was beaming at me. You might think that silly but admit it…you’ve had experiences like this.

     In this simple exchange with this little fella, I was reminded to cease striving in my efforts to connect with the Lord. And while I do understand that this process of relinquishing ‘my efforts’ to Him will continue, today, in a simple little baby’s smile, I was reminded of His pursuit of us, His delight in us, His rooting for us. I wonder how often I miss these intimate exchanges with Him.

Dear Abba,

     Recently, the thought came to me…I cannot love You enough. I simply cannot, anymore than I can be perfect in all my ways! My walk has been characterized by self-deprecation because I unknowingly rely on myself. And while that has been softened by embracing the true gospel of grace, I still find myself in shame because I accuse myself of not loving You enough (i.e., spending enough time with You, focusing on You enough, etc.). But in thinking this way, I am doing the same thing I’ve always done…self-effort and self-reliance. On one hand, I say that my hope is in You, but if it is up to me to ‘love You enough,’ then I am still factoring myself into the salvation equation. In reality, even my love for You, comes from You!

      American writer Miles Stanford, in his book The Green Letters (1964), wrote the following:

“To be disappointed with yourself, is to have believed in yourself.”

     That quote has haunted me for years. Friends, there is absolute joy in the cessation of striving, and in so doing, you notice God relating to you…even through the smile of a baby. Yesterday evening, I ‘noticed’ the fragrance of honeysuckle on the bike path. In the morning, I ‘noticed’ four species of bird with red coloring visiting my feeder (rose-breasted grosbeak, red-bellied woodpecker, downy woodpecker, house finch). Abba is a great communicator of His love for us…we honor Him by ‘noticing.’

     Please be bold haverim and share with us a simple God-moment you’ve had such as my experience today! Shalom!


 

First Encounters

   I was weary…the lonely road was especially deserted that holiday weekend as I returned from a late shift around midnight. It was one of those autopilot drives that evokes a “oh, how did I get here,” reaction once you’re in the driveway.

     Only this time I was rudely awakened a mile from the house when a cat darted out from nowhere in front of me…followed by the sickening sound of his collision with my car. I’m guessing you know that awful feeling of hitting an animal on the road…this was my first and I immediately pulled over to search for the cat. He was still alive and had crawled under a blue stationary mailbox. He was bleeding and broken and I felt horrible. Able to gather him into my jacket and then the front seat, I determined to get him help should he make it through the night. That last mile home felt like forever and the poor animal made it evident the pain she was in.

     I experienced compassion as I never had in those moments and when I attempted to retrieve her from the seat after reaching home, she writhed in agony and fell onto the street near the curb. A kind of helplessness and inner turmoil overtook me, and I fell to my knees, begging god to relieve the cat from her suffering. I’m not sure I had ever been so earnest on any previous occasion. The moment I opened my eyes from my impassioned plea, I saw the cat jerk…and then die immediately…God responded to my prayer and my jaw dropped.

But wait…why would Adonai respond to someone who neither knows him nor desires to know Him? I journeyed those days with a nebulous God-consciousness and even attended a church…should someone ask, I would identify myself as a Christian, but with no understanding of what that meant, much less having a relationship with Him. But all I knew at that moment was that God listened and responded and it startled me.

     A few weeks later, my 49-year-old father had a massive heart attack and wasn’t expected to make it through the night. Once again, I went to a quiet place and begged/pleaded with God to spare my father. Dad survived and lived to age 84.

    With these two events, I became convinced that all I needed was to be passionate and sincere in my request and that God would grant it.

     However, when the next life crisis came my way, I went back to my quiet place…same passion, same sincerity…and the result? The life crisis multiplied greatly.  So, what in the world was all that about?

Dear Abba,

     It’s been almost 50 years since that first encounter with You. When I consider those events, I realize now that you were wooing me…revealing Yourself to a lost boy who wouldn’t come to You for another seven years. It is Your kindness that reaches out to us before we reach out to You. It is Your majesty in creation, Your order out of chaos that reaches out to us, saying, “come let us reason together, though your sins are as scarlet, they shall be white as snow.”

     How is it, that You, Creator of all things, would encounter a lost boy in the late hours of a summer night and demonstrate Your existence to him, before he was even remotely interested in You? As the psalmist said, “what is man that You are mindful of him and the son of man that You consider him?”

     But You are the great lover.  And lovers woo. Lovers make the object of their affection feel valued and unique and adored. You did that…and then you patiently waited seven years for me to respond back to you, after you first responded to me. Your Ruach continues to woo me, no matter where I am, no matter what I’m doing. Todah rabbah Abba, baruch atah Adonai! Thank you so much Father, blessed are you Lord!  

     I imagine that most of us have had Abba woo us before we set our heart on Him. Do you remember a time you reached out with kavanah (the Hebrew word for impassioned, fervent prayer), even before you truly identified with Messiah Yeshua?

     With that wooing, we see an aspect of Adonai’s character…that of the great lover who pursues us, giving us a glimpse into His reality. I would like to suggest that wooing isn’t limited to His demonstration and/or response to us.  Consider Eliyahu’s (Elijah’s) encounter with Hashem in the cleft of the rock:

“1 then he said, “come out and stand on the mount before Adonai.”[b] behold, Adonai was passing by—a great and mighty wind was tearing at the mountains and shattering cliffs before Adonai. But Adonai was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but Adonai was not in the earthquake. 12 after the earthquake a fire, but Adonai was not in the fire. After the fire there was a soft whisper of a voice. 13 as soon as Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle…”

Do you sense the intimacy accompanying this revelation to Eliyahu. So now, it’s your turn. Tell us how Adonai reached out to you or touched you before you knew or even cared about Him.

Shalom,

James Mark

 

Rehearsing Loneliness

Solitude can be exquisite…and also revealing.

     I’d finally reached my planned lunch stop during a solo backpack trip one early autumn and plopped down on a beautiful rock outcropping that overlooked a fir-filled valley. Splendidly isolated, the rest was both welcomed and rewarding. I was accustomed to backpacking alone and rather preferred it that way…not typically recommended by hiking enthusiasts, there’s no shortage of dangers for a solo hiker. And yet, I was on a mission…a mission to get away and enjoy the silence, conquer the challenge, and perhaps hear from Adonai.

     It was on that rock outcropping that the latter came…silence is different in a people-less place, especially after a challenging trudge over difficult terrain. As I sat in that silence, I noticed a lone pine, that for decades had somehow defied the conditions it was presented, growing impossibly through the rock, and gently swaying in the breeze. As I contemplated its uniqueness, quite unexpectedly, the still small voice of Adonai deposited three words in my mind…”you rehearse loneliness.”

     All of us, no matter our history, learn ways to navigate our world. Some through a unique identity in some extraneous venture like career, sports, hobby, etc…identifying ourselves by a role we play. This, by self-design can serve as a distraction from our most base fears buried at our deepest depths…self-beliefs that we work hard to suppress and yet paradoxically, drive our very existence.

     We create coping strategies that become so rote in our subconscious, that we become immune to the motivation that brought us there in the first place.  For instance, if I find acceptance and applause through my identity as a person of excellence in my career, sport, philosophy, ideology…then I can more successfully ignore the seminal beliefs about myself such as, ‘I am a failure,’ ‘I cannot get it out,’ ‘I must be perfect and please everyone,’ ‘no one would love the true me’…and on it goes.

     So, in order to cope with those root beliefs, we create strategies to navigate around them…at least…as much as possible…because at some point…life quiets…and what has been pushed to the back burner automatically reassumes its position at the front.

     And so, it was this day on that rock…just as it is when I lay down to sleep most nights. We waste our lives running from what we believe will consume us, ruin us…and that we believe other people will rally around once they learn that truth about us. On that outcropping, Adonai revealed my strategy designed to hide my wretchedness… “you rehearse loneliness.”

     For me, the isolation I experienced in childhood became the very strategy to avoid what I truly believed. You are a liability, you do not matter, your voice is of no consequence…you are unloved. My life has been a self-fulfilled prophecy…and likely, so has yours.

Dear Abba,

     You see me. Your objective, however, is not to shame me in what you see. Being ‘poor in spirit’ is different than what I have made it. ‘Poor in spirit’ is not self-loathing. It is coming into agreement of my complete inability to self-atone and create my own shalom. In fleeing from my fallenness, not only do I serve the beliefs that govern me, but I also recreate the original sin…that I should be in charge of my life.

     There is a place in that agreement with you that turns shame into gratitude…never, ever, ever will it be up to me to gain your favor or avoid your wrath…always and only ever is it Messiah Yeshua standing in my stead…life for life. This walk can never be about me trying to become better. God forbid!

     Life and joy are only found in agreeing with the truth of my condition and then giving up the false quests of self-improvement, to utterly lose myself…also giving life for life…my life in exchange for Messiah’s. I do not ask that you silence my deepest beliefs born out of my personal history, but rather, that you teach me to be grateful and peaceful about my condition because of your forever provision. 

     There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end leads to death. We live in a culture that celebrates the self and looks to the self for salvation. Even for followers of Yeshua Messiah. Most often in the church today we come to Jesus for salvation and then spend the rest of our lives trying to save ourselves through the things we do for God.

     Most of our life we are still trying to impress the Father or avoid His disappointment. On one hand, we eagerly embrace His salvation, but then contradict ourselves by trying to earn His favor.

     The objective of our lives now, is not to change our self-beliefs or even to grow in holiness. That haverim…is about us, not Him! The objective of our lives is to grow in relationship with our rescuer and abandon our strategies all together, to abandon our attempts to manipulate His affections toward us and to merely rest in Him and what He has done. Now, having said that, I confess that I still pick up my personal history book and self-help book, metaphorically speaking, every day. 

     Will you join with me in agreement…we are not the way, the truth, and the life…and we must no longer aim at self-improvement as our way to the Father. That is not the Gospel. We all have negative self-beliefs.  Laying them at the feet of the Master Yeshua merely means that changing those beliefs is not the goal of life…let us stop paying homage to them…we see them, we acknowledge their existence, but we do not serve them…by fleeing from them…or rehearsing them.

     We are all in the same state of being haverim…hearing those thoughts are nothing but a cue…a cue to express gratitude toward our Saviour…let him be Saviour! Let him be Saviour from ourselves once and for all!!

Thank you, Adonai, that you call us to cease striving and learn to just be with You. We acknowledge that our consuming self-thoughts are not what we ought to serve, nor are they things we should unwittingly honor. Our objective is not to get better, but rather to accept Your gift and be with You!

Shalom,

James Mark 

 

Whose Performance is it?

I bet that you have a friend like mine…Jim. Covering up a profound intellect, coupled with a confoundingly dry wit, Jim never wastes words. With the combination of those traits, I’ve learned to pay close attention when he does decide to speak.

Such was the case one delightful autumn day, as we trekked a magnificent trail in the Smoky Mountains. Jim and I have backpacked those trails twice yearly for the past 24 years (we leave again this weekend). Together, we’ve learned that trail miles are of no significance, but rather, to blend in with what surrounds us, and to quietly experience the impossible beauty, intracies and perfect order that both proves and exults our Creator. We observe, we notice, we seek to become part of that world without encroaching on it. Our hearts feel cleansed at our journey’s end, having allowed ourselves to bow our hearts in reverence and utter awe of One so loving as to provide us the gift of participating in His creation.

And so, on one such trek, we entered a glorious valley between ridges. There was a powerful and loud rushing torrent on our left, punctuated with waterfalls of various sizes and attributes and sounds; bare rock walls on our immediate right; surrounded by colorful waving and fluttering leaves dancing in the wind…for our pleasure alone…and looking ahead to mountain contours that rise and fall in homage to their Maker. It is in this silent observing that Jim slows his pace ahead of me on the trail, then stops, slowly turning toward me with a wry smile on his face, and a twinkle in his eye, and sarcastically quips this gem…”and to think,” he says, “this all happened by accident.”

I chuckled and searched for an adjective to describe Abba’s care and love for us in his presentation here in this place. And whatever I said was no doubt heartfelt… but completely inadequate. Jim turned back, and we resumed our silent journey, knowing that it is the journey that matters, not the destination.

I’ve often thought that folks denying God’s authorship of creation, have much, much greater faith than I, believing that something can spontaneously spring up out of nothing, and then, as if painting on a canvas, add unbelievable detail and beauty, all in perfect order…and all on its own. Yeah…that’s pretty amazing faith.

In amazing detail Adonai communicates many things to us…details that loudly testify to His character, and also to the blessing of what one Messianic writer calls, “holy desperation.” His caring detail to all things of His creation, illuminate to me how ludicrous are my attempts to rely on myself for anything. Shall I finally come to the end of myself and stop trying to gain His approval, stop trying to flatter Him to gain special favor, stop trying to perform for Him as if I gain points (which is really all about self-elevation, ridiculous as that notion is)…in a sense, when I try to manipulate Adonai, I am in fact, denying that Yeshua alone provides salvation and that I am somehow helping Him gain my salvation. All my life misery is related to this absurdity…that I can be self-sufficient, or that I can gain a stronger footing with Him by impressing Him. At this moment, that thought makes me chuckle to myself. Desperation is our blessing, because it means we trust in Yeshua alone and not ourselves…and what a relief that is!

I know there are times you’ve examined the veins of a leaf; a praying mantis balancing on a limb; the process of growth of squash in your garden; your own skin…when you did, you noticed and engaged with the marvels of Abba’s creation…and realized that He did so for your pleasure as well as to display His sovereignty. Or perhaps you were on that mountain trail, maybe off the beaten path, and realized you were seeing small miracles of creation that nobody else will ever see. In those moments, Abba was pleased to entertain you and have private audience with you.

The point is this friends…He performs for us; we needn’t perform for Him. After 40+ years of walking with Yeshua, I am finally learning that I cannot add to my salvation or earn it by various degrees of “goodness,” or service that secretly proclaims, “look at what I’ve done for you Father!” Rather, I am learning how to just “be” with Him.

By the way…have you ever wondered why we have taste buds? I suppose there are those who might provide some so-called evolutionary explanation for why we have taste buds…but I am convinced, the gift of taste is that! The Lord wants us to enjoy all he’s done for us, right down to the supreme enjoyment of eating. How beautiful and generous is that!

I have been a runner for more than 50 years…when I run, I often ask God to show me things along the way…and suddenly I am awakened to variations of the color green; to fragrances from blooms that fill my nostrils; to different melodies of songbirds; to the sensation of the breeze cooling my skin…and I shake my head in wonder…as Peter joyously put it, “Attah Mashiach El,” “You are God Messiah!”

My favorite Messianic writer, John Parsons, who authors the website called Hebrews for Christians, uses that paradoxical term “holy desperation,” that in essence refers to celebrating our frailty and brokenness, while relying on God’s strength and provision. When I finally reached the inevitable conclusion that there is no way I can advance my spiritual standing in the Kingdom through my efforts, I am finally beginning to embrace the notion of “poor in spirit,” that is, “holy desperation.” I have begun learning the truth of salvation. Salvation is Yeshua. It is not a mixture of my performance and Yeshua. God forbid! Rather, friends, we get to participate in His performance and His creation screams out to us! It is indeed, His stage friends, never ours!

Allow yourself to be uniquely loved by Abba today…shalom!